When Change Finds those Tender Spots
Let me start by saying I’m grateful. Deeply grateful actually…while also deeply afraid - two simultaneous existences.
This season feels like a birthing. Something is leaving me while something else is arriving at the exact same time – the duality of yes and no co-existing. This transition has my nervous system over worked + underpaid.
What’s interesting though is I don’t find change in general hard or uncomfortable; my entire life has been a sum of pivots.
I’ve survived some shift. Like fo real.
I know how to adapt.
I know how to recover.
I know how to rebuild.
I know how to make something work.
I know how to make a dollar out of 15 cents.
I know how to keep shift moving.
That’s partly why this season has been humbling in a different way.
Because it’s not always the “big” things that take you out.
Sometimes it’s coming home from out of town to cold water + a flooded basement.
And suddenly your body is like:
“Nope. Nope. Absolutely not.” And, “Where is the man on a white horse?”
Meanwhile somebody else could handle that situation with zero issue.
That realization has honestly given me so much more compassion for people navigating change.
Because different things hit different people differently.
One person navigates divorce with clarity but gets completely emotionally wrecked by financial uncertainty.
Another person can survive career instability but gets taken out by loneliness.
Another person can lead a company through crisis but falls apart caring for a sick parent.
And you, experiencing them, have no idea what their particular nervous system set up can handle. And awareness + attention that the Present Continuous Leadership philosophy is showing is that we cannot measure capacity from the outside.
Lately, I’ve been trying to get my life, my business, + my support systems aligned for this next season. Getting the right people around me. Clarifying roles. Building structure. Using my time for more energy-fueling activities. Accepting that I cannot hold everything alone anymore. (+ yes of course I had to learn the hard way.)
And underneath the planning, the momentum, the strategy, the “getting shift done” energy…
There’s fear - a shit ton of fear to be frank!
And we just ain't talking about that enough for my comfort level.
Especially high-functioning people.
Especially capable people.
Especially people who are used to surviving.
Because when you’re used to surviving, your instinct is often to overcompensate.
To push harder.
Move faster.
Force clarity.
Ignore exhaustion.
Pretend confidence is certainty.
And that is such a dangerous way to move.
Because when we move too fast, we miss things.
We miss wisdom.
We miss support.
We miss perspective.
We miss red flags.
We miss our own humanity.
We stop listening + start telling!
That’s the part I’m trying not to do.
Present Continuous Leadership is asking me to be present.
Be Honest.
Discern.
Seek Support.
Slow down enough to hear myself think + listen to my body speak.
Trusting that what is aligned for me will not require me to abandon myself to receive it.
And whew… that part.
I’m learning that one of the deepest forms of self-leadership is admitting:
“I cannot carry this season the same way I carried the last one.”
And that admission is making me a better coach + advisor - I understand more deeply now how destabilizing change can feel even for capable, intelligent, resilient people.
Especially when life be life-ing.
Especially when transitions stack on top of each other.
Especially when your nervous system quietly hits capacity before your mind catches up.
That kind of compassion changes how you lead people – it’s a softening + a deepening.
It makes you less attached to performance + more attentive to humanity.
And would you agree that the world needs more of that right now? I thought so!
So this is where I am.
Terrified!
Grateful.
Hopeful.
Growing.
Building.
Trying not to force.
Trying not to outrun myself.
Trying to stay present enough to notice what this season is asking of me.
And that’s leadership too.
