Leading Yourself Through Change When Everything Feels Like…A Dumpster Fire
Y’all… I am deep in some change shit right now.
Even as I sit down to write this, I can feel it in my body - an overwhelming mix of big feelings all happening at once - + they're trying to manifest as tears that I DO NOT have time for because I have a meeting in 10!!
And if I’m honest? My first instinct was to push through it. Stay productive. Keep moving. Because I/we have to, right?
But this season is asking something different of me.
It’s asking me to be present.
To sit in what I’m in.
To acknowledge what’s happening—not just in my life, but in the world around me.
So I stopped typing, shut my eyes, + took a big full inhale in, paused, + breathed out ever so slowly. Ahhh…somehow, something feels better + it’s enough to help me reach for joy.
Not the big, curated kind.
The micro joys.
A laugh.
A moment of stillness.
A compliment to a stranger.
A “hello” with eye contact.
A reminder that everyone isn’t terrible - even when it feels like the loudest voices suggest otherwise.
Change Doesn’t Ask for Permission
Right now, my life is full.
Full in the way I prayed for.
And full in the way that is stretching me.
Work is abundant. Opportunities are expanding. And with that comes a new set of decisions:
What do I hold?
What do I release?
Where do I invest?
Where do I save?
And with every decision comes change.
I’m at a point where growth is no longer about doing more.
It’s about doing differently.
Honoring my spheres of excellence. Investing in support. Expanding my team. Trusting that the same faith that got me here is the same faith that is preparing me for (+ already sustaining) what comes next.
And whew…dat part?
That part will test you.
Because when you’ve experienced instability before (to the point that it’s your normal), your instinct is to grip tighter. To hoard. To play small “just in case.” To talk yourself out of your calling.
But this season is instilling in me new affirmation:
I can't make my wildest dreams come true when I'm letting fear drive.
I mean listen, it's gonna be in the car sometimes, that’s just humanity, but put that mothafucka in the trunk!!!
Grief + Growth Can Exist at the Same Damn Time
There’s another layer to this change that doesn’t get talked about enough:
Grief. Because change is made up of endings.
And just grief from loss, but grief from what didn’t happen.
The life you thought you’d have.
The timeline you imagined.
The version of the story that didn’t unfold.
I can hold both truths at the same time:
I am deeply grateful for the life I have.
And I grieve the life I imagined.
That tension? That’s human AF.
And instead of rushing past it, I’m trying with all my ability to hold space for it.
Because Present Continuous Leadership isn’t about bypassing reality.
It’s about being fully present in it while shaping what comes next.
You Are Not Powerless in Change
Not everything is in my control.
But a whole lot is.
And I want to be excellent with what’s mine.
How I show up.
How I respond.
Where I place my energy.
What I choose to build.
That’s the work.
That’s Present Continuous Leadership.
Posturing yourself in the present with the future in mind.
Making decisions today that align with the life you’re creating - not the fear you’re reacting to.
The Shift: I Am the One
There’s been a quiet but powerful realization in this season:
I am the one.
The one responsible for my life.
The one building what comes next.
The one who gets to decide how I carry this.
And surprisingly… that doesn’t feel heavy.
It feels freeing. I feel liberated.
Because it means:
I’m not waiting to be saved
I’m not outsourcing my power
I’m not stuck
I’m equipped.
More than that - I’m built for this. (Insert Meghan the Stallion’s tongue ahhh😝)
When it feels like a lot.
When it stretches me.
When I have moments of doubt.
There is something deeply profound about knowing:
I have everything I need in me + around me to navigate well.
Letting Yourself Be Seen (By You!)
Another unexpected part of this season?
Seeing myself differently.
The way my community sees me.
The way I imagine God sees me.
With love.
With capability.
With strength.
With joy.
And that kind of self-recognition changes how you move.
It doesn’t erase insecurity.
But it anchors you in something deeper.
A knowing.
A confidence that says:
I’m betting on me. Ery time.
So What The Hell?
If you’re in a season of change right now—personally, professionally, emotionally—here’s what I want you to consider:
Where are you resisting being present?
What are you being asked to release?
Where is fear influencing your decisions more than trust?
What would it look like to fully own your role in what comes next?
And most importantly:
How are you showing up today for what you want tomorrow?
Final Thought, then I’m Done.
Change is not a moment. It’s a constant.
And leading yourself through it well doesn’t mean having all the answers.
It means:
Staying present
Acting intentionally
Trusting yourself
And choosing, again + again….+ again, to engage with your life fully + wholeheartedly.
Even when it feels like a lot.
No, especially then.
